This is a list of "Rules" that I pulled off a site , as a quick reference to these "modern" manners rules set forth by some lady in her 50s sitting in a cubicle.What I propose is a new set of guidelines for women like myself, who dont like to follow rules, but realize that there are somethings that you should and shouldn't do in certain situations. These aren't rules for dorks, they'll like whatever the mothers in cubicles will write, these are suggestions for ladies who would either like to pull off the party of their dreams, or would like to find out exactly how bad they can be at party without causing her social life too much damage. My suggestions are written in Blue.
Parties and Gifts
1. Always RSVP to a party in a timely fashion, even if you won’t be attending.
Holding off on a response makes the host feel like you’re waiting for a better offer to come along.
RSVP only if you are going. Don't confuse your host by sending back some sorry excuse you can't be there. If your friend sent you an invite, she wants you there, and if you aren't good enough friends with her for her to already know whether if you can attend or not, then it's not a big deal. Don't bog her correspondence with your denial!I am also a firm believer in smart hosts, as in if you haven't promptly replied back within a week, as a host you are a no.
Holding off on a response makes the host feel like you’re waiting for a better offer to come along.
RSVP only if you are going. Don't confuse your host by sending back some sorry excuse you can't be there. If your friend sent you an invite, she wants you there, and if you aren't good enough friends with her for her to already know whether if you can attend or not, then it's not a big deal. Don't bog her correspondence with your denial!I am also a firm believer in smart hosts, as in if you haven't promptly replied back within a week, as a host you are a no.
2. Don’t ask the host of a party for a tour of their house unless it’s a housewarming. Let them offer one if they want to.
I say don't ask, if you are THAT interested walk around yourself, without being too intrusive.
If you are not particularly good friends with the host, ask a friend you know to be closer to the host, to show you around.
3. If a wedding invitation specifies you and a guest, don’t call to ask if you can bring your children, too.Unless the invite said Mr.&Mrs only and not the Jones Family, then I'd say leave your kids at home, but at the same time I'd have to disagree with the host for not allowing the children to be there.
4. You can bring a gift for the hostess, but just make sure that it isn’t something that would preoccupy them before or during the party.
This is a lie! Don't bring over some crazy fondue dish that needs me to set up the heat, get the skewers and all that but, please all hosts will appreciate flowers, and even some will appreciate that delicious fondue dip that everyone enjoyed.
If an invitation says no gifts, don’t bring them, or else you might embarrass other gift-less guests.Pssshhh, I say bring gifts anyways! If you have something to give, give it! Don't just give your hots a gift because you think she wants it, or that you HAVE to, but more that it will enhance the party and tighten your relationship with the host!! The other guests won't mind, this is a first degree embarrassment, and will be quickly overlooked.
5. If you've been invited to a wedding but can’t go, you should still send a wedding gift.
I don't know about this one, I think it's very important to consider your relationship with the couple. Is this a couple you see once a week, have known for over 5 years? Then yeah you should probably send something, but if it's your 2nd cousin from 5 states over that you haven't seen since 3rd grade and is of total non-interest to you, I don't think you have to send them a gift, especially if you are under the age of 25, or seeking a degree.
6. Don’t ask for cash gifts as wedding gifts. Rely on word ofmouth
instead.
It's 2010, and many couples have already lived together for a little while, things are more casual. If you don't have an addiction, then you can ask for cash.
I say don't ask, if you are THAT interested walk around yourself, without being too intrusive.
If you are not particularly good friends with the host, ask a friend you know to be closer to the host, to show you around.
3. If a wedding invitation specifies you and a guest, don’t call to ask if you can bring your children, too.Unless the invite said Mr.&Mrs only and not the Jones Family, then I'd say leave your kids at home, but at the same time I'd have to disagree with the host for not allowing the children to be there.
4. You can bring a gift for the hostess, but just make sure that it isn’t something that would preoccupy them before or during the party.
This is a lie! Don't bring over some crazy fondue dish that needs me to set up the heat, get the skewers and all that but, please all hosts will appreciate flowers, and even some will appreciate that delicious fondue dip that everyone enjoyed.
If an invitation says no gifts, don’t bring them, or else you might embarrass other gift-less guests.Pssshhh, I say bring gifts anyways! If you have something to give, give it! Don't just give your hots a gift because you think she wants it, or that you HAVE to, but more that it will enhance the party and tighten your relationship with the host!! The other guests won't mind, this is a first degree embarrassment, and will be quickly overlooked.
5. If you've been invited to a wedding but can’t go, you should still send a wedding gift.
I don't know about this one, I think it's very important to consider your relationship with the couple. Is this a couple you see once a week, have known for over 5 years? Then yeah you should probably send something, but if it's your 2nd cousin from 5 states over that you haven't seen since 3rd grade and is of total non-interest to you, I don't think you have to send them a gift, especially if you are under the age of 25, or seeking a degree.
6. Don’t ask for cash gifts as wedding gifts. Rely on word of
It's 2010, and many couples have already lived together for a little while, things are more casual. If you don't have an addiction, then you can ask for cash.
7. Thank you notes are a must after receiving a gift. Make sure the thank you note gets to the person within two weeks of receiving the gift.
Yes, everyone should get a thank you note, but within the 2 week time period seems a little crazy. You just got married! You are probably going to go on your honeymoon soon, OR you just got back from it, and you've got work. I think a month is fair, especially if you've had a lot of guests.
Yes, everyone should get a thank you note, but within the 2 week time period seems a little crazy. You just got married! You are probably going to go on your honeymoon soon, OR you just got back from it, and you've got work. I think a month is fair, especially if you've had a lot of guests.
